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| i'm making another xanga.to keep track of certain things. mainly something i've kind of mentioned in a few posts before, but never really flat out said. if you want the site, just message me or something and i'll hand it to you.
:]
i might update later today if i can get to the computer! | | |
| visited my brother yesterday.it was weird. my mom just started crying and i was like. 'oh. okay.' so then we sat in my brothers wifes family's house. aka their house. and just like talked for an hour. and then me, garrett and jess went and sat in the car for another hour because my sister in laws sister got home with her friend, and theyre fucking annoying. example- 'omg amanda you got dirt on me!' 'omg did i? im so sorry, ewz' but yeah. then we went to jay and luisas new cribbb and then came back home. i'm fucking sick, i think. wooh migraines >:[ | | |
| when it rains it pours.so in addition to my father leaving, my brother is coming back home from iraq soon. he's staying with his wife until their baby is born, because it isn't going to live outside of her stomach. gage is leaving april first. and then there's my internal struggles. but it's okay, yannow?
luisa is getting induced sometime this month because she has gestational diabetes. i swear to you, it's so weird. because through all of this sadness, i know that that baby is going to come out and bring atleast one moment of happiness to everybody. and i love that.
for some reason, i'm a big believer in there being light at the end of the tunnel. because for me, no matter how much of a struggle i'm going through, i know that there will always be a day when i realize i'm going to be alright.
and i live for that day, basically. | | |
| party yesterday, day today.so the party yesterday was fun. it was abunch of my redneck family, and all of that. it was so funny, my brother got drunk and showed everybody his balls. thank god i wasnt looking. they had mini horses and shit! apparently my cousins mom has mini horses and allll. they were so cute. today i havent really done anything. just been sitting around, eating all day. and these weekdays will be fille dwith restriction, hahah. according to the scale at my cousins moms house, i lost two pounds. but then again it also said i gained ten and all this stuff. it pretty much doesnt work alot. hahah. but i hope i lost two pounds, even though it's not much it's something. right now im watching step up and waiting for my dad to leave. i guess he downstairs, but i don't want to see him. and now apparently he bought his girlfriendcuntwhorebitchslut an engagement ring. he moves on quick, hm? im so bored. and really tired. this is lovely. i'll probably be sleeping soon.
haveagoodday<3 | | |
| i swear i'm overreacting.last night if ound out chris has a girlfriend. the chris i'm supposed to be over. the chris that made me the happiest i've ever been in my life. i thought i was over him. i thought finding out he had a girlfriend would just be a mild ache, in the back of my brain. no. it was sheer panic. i couldnt stop crying. i laid on my side and sobbed in my mothers bed, thank goodness she wasnt home. i smoked five cigs int he span of about an hour. it was pretty bad, i didn't know what to do with myself. oh well. i was on a scale at this house i was at today, and one of the things said that i lost two pounds. hopefully it's fucking right, i've been working at it. i ate too much today though, probably gained it back. anywho, i hope you all had good days!<3
BTW, i tried snus today. it's so good.
so good. | | |
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